Compassion Fatigue Can Happen at Home

I used to think that Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma only happened because of the work we do until reality slapped me hard across the face.

At the time I was a single Mom to three teenage boys ages 13, 14 and 19.  My sons were going through legal, school and mental health/substance abuse issues all at the same time. Daily chaos and crisis.  I struggled with how to help them and how to help myself.  With my physical and mental health suffering I was one hot mess and I was a “Trained Compassion Fatigue Specialist.”  What a lesson life teaches you… that you really can’t help others until you help yourself. 

During this time I began to experience lower back problems.  As I went from doctor to doctor and from test to test, I was never asked about my stress level at home or work (the mind and body really are connected!).  I ended up having two hip replacements in the span of three years.  I do have arthritis but I truly believe the compassion fatigue and stress excelled the process in my body at an alarming rate. 

I am better now at recognizing my compassion fatigue signs and symptoms and catching them earlier so they don’t progress.  Am I perfect at it? NO. I try to do daily self-care.  I am trying to say the word “no” because I know if I don’t say “no,” my body will say “no” for me.

As a recent empty nester I did one important project for myself and I don’t feel selfish or guilty about it!  I created a safe private place in my home just for me… a Lady Lounge (see pictures).  As a mother of three boys it was time to regain my feminine side with the color white, expensive sheets, rose bud lights, lace and books (no TV).  I love it!

How do you create an environment that relieves your compassion fatigue? I'd love to see pictures of "your spaces." Feel free to email them to me at [email protected].
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